how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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