Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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