I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar