hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
