i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
