If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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