You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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