Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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