OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
