Swine flu. Run for my life!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sorry about my life...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
