I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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