Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
