My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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