Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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