no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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