i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
birth control should be required to get into college
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize