i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
