Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
