How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
