It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
