So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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