I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
