why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.