So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it