he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs