so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
