We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
