apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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