I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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