Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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