Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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