chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
