This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
