It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
