What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
