Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's shark week go big or go home
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
