Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
