Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
