i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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