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The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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