I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
