Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
