roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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