Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
