so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
