ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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