gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
honey bunches of taint.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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