just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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