how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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