Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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