Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
