my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
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