my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
