Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
