He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
