You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
