Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
