Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
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I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Someone signed my nipple.
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