No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Vodka?
Forever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
