Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize