We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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