I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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