I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
