He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
