P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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