Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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